Earlier today I pressed my finger to a screen and cast a vote for Barack Obama. This isn't remarkable in itself as I was but one of over fifty million who helped elect Obama to the office of President of the United States. What is remarkable is that I was able to, without any hesitation, vote for an African American man after having grown up around family and friends who in one way or another subscribed to racism and hatred of anyone who wasn't white.
From a young age I was exposed to racism by my extended family. It was a pretty common occurrence at the dinner table during family gatherings to hear my Grandfather tell a story about a dumb nigger he had busted up on the job that week or some silly nigger he had seen on Television or niggers in general and their niggardly ways. My Uncle would crack racist jokes of the "How do you stop a nigger from drowning? Take your foot off his head" variety. This always made me extremely uncomfortable and being exposed to it at such an early age unfortunately had some impact on the way I viewed people of color.
My father to his credit never wanted that level of racism to exist in his household. He made it clear at some point to my Grandfather that he didn't want his children exposed to it and over the years my Grandfather has definitely gotten better, at least around the grandchildren. I am very thankful to my parents for raising me with a certain level of tolerance. That being said, my parents were still racist just in a different way.
While it wasn't ever blatant or overt, there was always an underlying level of fear towards people of color or other cultures. When we would drive by a group of black people on the street my Mother would lock the car doors. There was a palpable uncomfortableness whenever we were in a situation where we were in the racial minority. Blacks were still seen by my parents as less civilized and alien. My parents still behave this way and I would argue that it has impacted me in a much worse way than my Grandfather and Uncle's overt racism ever did. I say that because to this day I'm still not comfortable around groups of non-whites.
When I was in high school I fell in with, for various reasons, the metal-head/head-banger crowd. The racism in that group ranged from a general distaste for blacks to borderline skinhead, combat boots with white laces and all. Since the split at my high school was about 50% black and 50% white this inevitably led to some violent encounters. Now that I think back on it there were three things that really bonded that group .. racism, pot, and metal. While I never felt like I was truly a part of the group, I definitely played along where I had to lest I lose the only friends I had. I can recall recording a track with a couple of friends and screaming into a microphone a song that I had written about killing black people. Even though noone has ever heard that recording I still consider it to be one of the biggest regrets of my life.
Needless to say I had my fair share of exposure to racism. I even participated in it to an extent. When Barack Obama was running for President though it didn't even cross my mind that he was black. I didn't see an African American. What I saw was an extremely intelligent and engaging young man who captured my heart and spirit with his message of hope and change. It didn't occur to me until tonight how far I've come in my views on race.
While I still have a lot of learning to do I can say with confidence that I am more tolerant than my parents and their parents before them. What's so much more exciting than my own progress though is knowing that my children will have not just a tolerance but an appreciation for their neighbors' race and culture.
With all of my heart I thank Barack Obama for the work he has done and the work he will continue to do to unify our country but most of all I thank everyone who came before him who fought for civil rights, tolerance, and acceptance.
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