Thanks For Nothing Miles Austin

Week 5 is here and I'm playing against a buddy at work in our "co-workers and weird relatives that also happen to be uber fantasy footballers" league. We've placed a chicken bet on the matchup - lunch at King Pollo (mostly because I haven't been yet and he says the chicken there owns). Brandon Loyd is out with a bum knee and Plax is suspended so I need to grab someone off of waivers quicklike.

Patrick Crayton and Miles Austin are both available and I figure with the drama around T.O. right now at least one of them is bound to blow up. Austin had a great week last week so I'm figuring Crayton is ripe for a good outing. After I pick him up I remember that one of my other friends here at work is a huge Cowboys fan. I IM her and ask for her fan opinion - who will have the better game, Austin or Crayton? She thinks about it for awhile and eventually says Austin. So I go with her gut over mine, drop Crayton, and pickup Austin. Cool. I'm set for Week 5.

It's game on and I'm watching the 'Boys duke it out in a surprsingly close game against the Bengals. It's late in the 4th quarter and thus far Crayton and Austin have done absolutely nothing. No catches for no yards. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Dallas is up by 2 with 2 minutes left in the game and are threatening to score again - I still have a chance! C'mon dudes there's Peruvian chicken on the line here! Romo drops back to the 15yd line looks to his left and throws a bullet to a wide open Miles Austin who has strategically positioned himself on the 1yd line. YES YES YES!!! NO NO NO!!! Incredibly the ball bounces off of Austin's hands, past a defender, and right into the hands of ... PATRICK CRAYTON. Touchdown Patrick Crayton! Touchdown ... Patrick Crayton.

The same Patrick Crayton that I had added to my active roster and then dropped in favor of Miles Austin. Ugh. I'm sure Steve Sabol would have something funny to say about this. Funny, ironic, unlucky, all of that .. but six points isn't all that big of a deal, right? Except that I'm only winning my matchup right now by 7 points and he has Drew Brees playing tonight. Gee, do you think Brees will manage 7 points? To top off the irony I can't even root for Brees to have a bad game because he's my QB in the one other league I'm in and wouldn't you know it - I'm down by 7 points. Funny right? *sniffle*

I think it's safe to say I'll be buying the chicken this week. Thanks Miles Austin. I'll be sending you the bill. Douche.